Where It All Started

Saturday, September 23, 2017

You know how people often say when you turn another year older, you don’t feel any different? It's just another day. That is absolutely least for me. When I turned 25, I legit felt something that was not good. And no, it was not a hangover! Ha! I seriously felt like I was in a quarter life crisis. I still feel like I’m in it, actually. Will it ever go away? What it comes down to is that I just never want to get older. I want to live life to the absolute fullest and not let anything get in my way. Forever young, literally. 

So what does a dart have to do with any of this? Why do I even throw a dart? Why do I let it dictate my travel and adventure? That’s the thing. I was starving for adventure. I felt like I was stuck in a rut and needed out, ASAP.  It was the quarter life crisis! I’ve also been known to be scared of life, scared to rebel, scared to step out of my box. So, naturally, I thought that traveling solo was a lightbulb of an idea because of course that's what someone who is scared of life would decide to do, right?

But to this day, despite all my travels, I’m still petrified of flying! And I hate airports. I don’t think this fear will ever go away. It comes down to one thing: the people. I do not trust anyone in an airport or on my flight. I trust the mechanics of the plane. Oh, and the pilots. The pilots are the only people I trust on the metal bird soaring through the sky high above the clouds. 

I usually get bad anxiety about a week out prior to my trip. I get scared. Nervous. I just want to call my entire trip off. But I don’t. I force myself to live and not let anything get in my way. I’m getting better, though, I think. My anxiety doesn’t kick in now until about 3 days prior to my trip. Progress, people. Progress! I'm better once I'm on the plane. It could be the help of the Woodford and Ginger Ales, but I don't feel relieved and anxiety free until I touchdown in the city I'm going too. 

In all seriousness, though, I needed and wanted adventure. I admit, I got too comfortable and I never want to feel comfortable again- I just want to always do things out of my comfort zone. I’m also a bit of a control freak (which I’m working on too!). 

But why a dart? Well, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and we are where we are supposed to be every second of everyday. So by throwing my dart at a map, I’m letting go of my control freak mentality and letting my fate (and aim) take control. Well, aim, not so much considering I close my eyes when I throw my dart. But you get the point. So I follow my dart because wherever my dart hits on my map, something is obviously calling me to that location for a reason. And I just want to explore and find out why. Why did my dart take me to where it did and why? 

My dart is my compass. And these are my adventures. 

XO Pep

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